Yesterday, we decided to stay an extra night (Ms. Stephanie Hawking not withstanding), so before we departed for our Pirate adventure, I called the front desk and extended our stay through Thursday morning. Easy peasy. We picked up our new room keys and parking pass on our way out.
The girls and I headed to the beach this morning while My Husband went running. The girls, having gotten peckish, sent me upstairs for some snacks just after 1130. After swiping my card key half a dozen times only to have the maddening red light sanguinely blink back at me each time, it occurred to me that we had been locked out. Since I was cold, barefoot and clad only in a damp bathing suit, I called the front desk from my cell phone. I have spent the remainder of my afternoon mourning these 59 minutes and 4 seconds of my life I will never get back:
Getting a human on the phone: 2 minutes
Explaining the situation: 1 minute 30 seconds
Explaining why I cannot come to the front desk with my ID which is in my locked room: 4 minutes
Explaining to My Husband why I am greeting him in the hallway clad only in a bathing suit: 2 minutes 25 seconds
Responding “no” to three separate housekeepers when asked if we were checking out: 15 seconds.
Schlepping down the hall to the sun deck to check on my children whom I left unattended on the beach: 6 minutes
Conversing with Angelo, a housekeeping supervisor sporting a passkey who would not let me in the room: 7 minutes
Finding an unsecured restroom: 4 minutes
Struggling to reapply my wet bathing suit: 3 minutes 53 seconds
Being on/off hold hold with Joshua at the front desk trying to sort this out: 12 minutes 38 seconds.
Schlepping back down the hall to check on my still unattended children a second time: 6 minutes
Explaining to Joshua why I thought my reservation had been extended, including to whom I spoke yesterday, the precise time of the call, the model and serial number of the phone from which the call was placed, a description of the clothes I was wearing at the time of the call, and a verbatim recounting of the conversation: 8 minutes 19 seconds.
Checking my bank account to find I was never charged for the extra night: 23 seconds.
Asking Joshua if the reservation could be extended NOW, given that it was apparently never correctly processed: 5 seconds.
Redirecting Joshua to answer my question and sort this shit out later: 15 seconds (multiple attempts).
Joshua correctly processing an extra night: 12 seconds.
Angelo talking to Joshua to confirm we were to be allowed back in our room: 20 seconds.
Angelo using his gleaming passkey to let us in the room: 4 seconds.
I plan to hold a wake for these beloved minutes tonight at Sticky Fingers. Donations in memorium may be made to Jane’s Prozac Fund.
“Life is short. Eat dessert first”