Happy Sugar Fun Time

I am 46 years old and I love Disney music. No, not cartoon songs (though the soundtrack to Phineas and Ferb is pound for pound the most edifying entertainment available), but the ubiquitous bubblegum pop the #DisneyVerse cranks out at a dizzying pace. Approximately every 23.5 minutes, The  Disney Machine spawns another up-and-coming teen pop idol.

Since my girls are in their target demographic, I am subjected to Disney driven music almost constantly. Damn if it doesn’t get under your skin! Deciding that I would celebrate (rather than be embarrassed by) my love for all things Radio Disney, I have created this playlist: Happy Sugar Fun Time, which I now share openly and unabashedly with you. Embrace your inner teen, I say! Sing along with abandon to these catchy tunes with their cheery hooks, while I share with you why I find them so darn irresistible.

Of course, any good motivational playlist starts out with a song that grabs you by the ego and launches your mood into the stratosphere. For me, this is Shawn Mendes’ anthem Something Big.   My inner 17 year old apparently has a crush on this kid; I had originally slated four of his songs for this list.

 He perfectly captures the feeling of anticipation and unbridled excitement all of us have had about a big moment in our lives. I feel this way every time I make it to work without getting coffee on my shirt:

It’s like that feeling when you’re ’bout to win the medal,
And you worked so hard that you knew you wouldn’t settle,
Hands are in the air, hands are in the air.
When they hear you when you thought they wouldn’t listen,
It’s like an anthem that the whole world’s singing,
Hands are in the air, hands are in the air.

Something big I feel it happening
Out of my control,
Pushing, pulling, and it’s grabbing me,
Feel it in my bones like,
Oh whoa oh oh oh

Next up is the indomitable  Dove Cameron and the very dancey You, Me and the Beat.

This is perhaps a classic bubblegum pop tune–bouncy and fun with a snappy hook. The lyrics remind me that great friends are the ones who will help you hide the bodies:

When we’re together
Somehow it works
And having real friends
Makes it worth it
And in the future
When we both look through that
Rear view mirror
We’ll know
We had good times

The third tune on Happy Sugar Fun Time is all about owning my Girl Power. Bang Bang with Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj is the perfect piece for those days when I am really feeling my look (or want to be feeling my look). No, Nicki Minaj was not birthed by the Disney Machine (can you imagine?), but Ariana Grande has been a part of the DisneyVerse practically since she was in utero.

I love this song because for much of my life I felt that my “good girl” reputation caused me to be unjustly underestimated. I’ve gotten over that.

She got a body like an hourglass,
But I can give it to you all the time
She got a booty like a Cadillac,
But I can send you into overdrive (oh)
Stop and wait, wait for that,
Stop hold up, swing your bat
See anybody could be bad to you,
You need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah

Also, my booty is like a Cadillac (parked sideways), so I can’t help but feel embraced by this one.

Track four brings us to Zendaya’s  Too Much. Zendaya is, in a word, Bad Ass.

I dedicate this one to all of my nursing sistren and brethren  who keep the world of medicine spinning on its axis, but often go underappreciated because few people (even the ones for whom they work) have any idea how critically important they truly are:

Baby we’re too much, much to handle
Understand it when we turn it up
Too much, much to handle
Yeah we’re just too much
Baby, we’re too much, much to handle
Understand it yeah, we can’t be touched
We’re too much, much to handle
Yeah, we’re just too much

You don’t get it
You don’t get it, babe
You ain’t ever gonna get it, babe
In just a minute you will get it, babe
You ain’t never gonna get it, babe

No way, we ain’t got no shame
Going against the grain like, oh yeah!
Don’t be surprised when you see us touch the sky like, oh yeah!
Work hard for what we got
Think we’re difficult, we’re not
Now the underdog’s on top and we ain’t gonna stop like, oh yeah!

The next selection is from Disney’s Descendants. In Rotten To The Core , Dove Cameron makes her second appearance on Happy Sugar Fun Time. My girls loved her so much in her role as Mal that they both went as her for Halloween.

This one is simply the best for belting out at those who are jealous of my God-given gift of assertiveness:

They say I’m trouble
They say I’m bad
They say I’m evil
And that makes me glad
A dirty no-good
Down to the bone
Your worst nightmare
Can’t take me home

So I’ve got some mischief
In my blood
Can you blame me?
I never got no love

 

Continuing our theme of proudly owning one’s power,  NO by Meghan Trainor takes the middle spot on the list. This one is wholeheartedly dedicated to my boss. My boss is a brilliant man who truly cares about people. Unfortunately, he is also constantly over-committed. This frequently creates a “poor planning on my part constitutes a crisis on your part” dynamic in our relationship. I have assigned the chorus of this song as his ringtone on my phone:

But let me stop you there, oh, before you speak
Nah to the ah to the no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the no, no, no

 

 Because a custom ring tone alone is not enough of an honor for a man of his standing, I have also made the “blah blah blah” from the third verse his text alert. I hope he appreciates how long it took me to customize his contact information.

Shawn Mendes shows up again at number seven with Believe . This is a great song for those days when either I or someone else has mistaken me for Seabiscuit and won’t stop riding my back:

 

Who keeps tabs on stupid mistakes?
We all mess up but that’s just the way  

We learn how to get back up
We learn how to turn the page
So we will let our dreams take flight
And our hearts ignite
Did you know that it’s true
Everything is possible
There’s nothing we can’t do
It’s a wild and beautiful fire
And I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey [4x]
And I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe, hey [4x]  

Photo by N/D (www.notionmag.com) [CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

At number eight, Dove Cameron rejoins the party with  Better In Stereo . Although it makes me look like a schizophrenic nutjob, this one is also dedicated to my boss. We really do make a great team, and things run more smoothly with both of us in clinic. This verse really hits home for me—I am of course, the one saying “stop”….

If we could just agree,
We would go major league
When you say, “Yeah,” I say “No.”
When you say, “Stop,” all I wanna do is go, go, go!
You (you) the other half of me (me)
The half I’ll never be-e
The half that drives me crazy
You (you) the better half of me (me)
The half I’ll always need (need)
We both know
We’re better in stereo

I know he knows we make a great team, but I don’t think he knows I know he knows.

For those days when I am feeling particularly aggrieved,  I offer yet another (you were warned) hit by Shawn Mendes,  Aftertaste . This is my favorite song by which to polish my sword of self-righteous indignation.

Turns out that no one can replace me
I’m permanent, you can’t erase me
I’ll help you remember me
One more kiss is all it takes
I’ll leave you with the memory
And the aftertaste
And now there’s something in your way
‘Cause you threw it all to waste

The fabulous number ten song on my list is unreservedly dedicated to North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory, Asshat Extraordinaire; Meghan Trainor’s Lips Are Moving.

I know you’re lyin
‘Cause your lips are movin
Tell me do you think I’m dumb?
I might be young
But I ain’t stupid
Talking round in circles with your tongue
I gave you bass, you gave me sweet talk
Saying how I’m your number one
But I know you’re lyin
‘Cause your lips are movin
Baby, don’t ya know I’m done

Photo by DonkeyHotey on Flickr, CC 2.0 

No further commentary required.

The final two tracks are dedicated to my amazing daughters. The Great Divide by McClain is the song you want to sing to your kids when you think someone from the Mother of the Year nomination committee might be within earshot:

Image by Jonathan on Flickr CC 2.0