Due to the bizarre algorithm used by Facebook, this guy showed up on my list of “people you may know” at 6:50 a.m. Saturday:
As I was still reeling a bit from Friday’s coffee debacle, seeing this strapping young fellow gave me an idea; the thinking person’s answer to Hooters:
Hebrews, a coffee venue dedicated to all those who love men. “At Hebrews, the coffee is hot and the men are hotter.” Of course, I am an ardent supporter of body positivity and inclusiveness, so men of all types, shapes, sizes and colors would be employed. I envision having staff who correspond to the varietals of coffee: Sumatran, Colombian, Ethiopian, bold, blonde, fruity, earthy, dark roast, espresso, mocha, full bodied, herbal, rich, pungent, smoky, smooth, wild, an so on.
Mister Leather up there would clearly represent a bold, wild variety. Let me be clear, lest I be accused of objectifying men, the Hebrews Crew would not be forced to be scantily clad. Just the opposite, in fact. Each man would dress to express his own personality. The bearded earthy dude dressed in hemp and a man bun, the full bodied gent sporting comfy togs which accommodate his plump physique, the smooth blend man clean shaven in a tuxedo.
Matching your coffee to the man who waits on you is not required. One may order a white blonde latte to be delivered to their table by a gleaming dark skinned Ethiopian with smoldering brown eyes, or have a dark Sumatran espresso loving placed before them by an effeminate svelte Caucasian sporting a cravat and seersucker slacks. The potential permutations are limited only by one’s passions. If you’re asking me, it beats the heck out of mediocre chicken wings served by a bevy of spandex clad Barbies with bad fake tans.
So join me, won’t you? Come find me at Hebrews, where the coffee is hot and the men are hotter. I’ll be having one of everything.
that you are Jewish makes this even better; priceless
So glad you enjoyed it! It was a fun write.